RED SHADOWS

…And you handed me a summons to love
not just once
but three times
and three times
I reached… rejection
If not so --
wine
what could a few bottles
of wine do to me…?
If so --
maybe my luck will smile --
what have I done wrong in life anyway?
If not --
let it go …
with the wind…

* * *

And you handed me
a summons to love
not just once
but three times
three whole times -- no I did not decline
I arrived as expected
for I have learned
the secrets of
what is called luck
it could happen
and If it did?
Bring the wine…
(remember the blue nights
of Saint Germain…)

If it failed my dearest
the fault was neither yours
nor mine it seems…
the first time
I guess
your voice rang different
to the ear
suddenly recalling who I was
I suppose
your words acquired another tone
but this evidence was so weak and frail
it deserved no real concern
but in my breast
surged a scream
so outlandish
no one in the world could interpret.

But the second time around
there was solid proof
a credible evidence
maybe more
as shadows twisted on the wall
and the young Aznavour crooned…

All the couples were smashed
the dance had shifted to a different groove
when I took off with the booze
and wanted to light a cigarette
suddenly undetected by all
you approached…
I sniffed a mad warm scent
and as I gazed at you
like a lunatic
my lips were hit
with a demented kiss…

…………………………….


The dance had shifted to a different track
couples were all dead drunk now
the young Aznavour still crooned
and your request was evident…

And the third time
it was another room
not just a room
but a different flat
it was another floor
another ambiance
and again we sat facing
each other.

Each one spoke
of sizzling memory
a memory voiced in company
and bright banter…
And all at once –
your eye on your man –
you said to me -- why don’t I see you?
I never see you
even… in broad daylight
at times when
you are home alone --
and you made a point
that you always remembered me
when you put my special coffee
on the stove…
(oh dark brown snakes inside women
how do you sleep with all that coffee in you?)


* * *


…And you handed me
A summons to love
not just once
but three times
and three times my heart beat like mad
thirty years
thirty whole years
for your demented love…

Varand
Translated by Tatul Sonentz